As the year ends, and the holidays approach, I imagine you may be feeling something similar? OR, you're totally confused inner dialogue is still stuck on the word "moxie."
Have you ever seen "The Sound of Music?" If not, this will make no sense whatsoever. Some days I feel like I'm literally bursting with "I have confidence in sunshine! I have confidence in rain... I have confidence in confidence alone..." (what does that even mean?!) When I loose my moxie, I'm prone to adversarial thoughts and insecurity... I start to imagine everyone (particularly my bishopric wearing nun habits) wandering around singing "How do you solve a problem like an Amy ..."
This weekend I've been pondering the words resilience and resistant. How they apply to plants in nature. I looked up different root systems and weathering. Plants with roots that grow up through rocks, and create living ecosystems full of water and life within the stone.
If you've seen the LEGO movie, you are totally AWESOME. If you have not seen the LEGO movie, you should seriously consider putting that on your Christmas list. And also, SPOILER ALERT! The plot centers on the most ordinary lego person Emmet (who thinks he's a "nobody") discovering the "Piece of Resistance." The Piece of Resistance sticks permanently to him (deemed prophetic fulfillment) when, in fact, it's a Krazy Glue cap. It was hidden by Vitruvius in order to stop Lord Business from gluing the world together with the "Kragle" on Taco Tuesday!! I won't really ruin in case you have not seen it. Emmet discovers greatness and power are not determined by tangible items or how others define us. As CS Lewis said, "There are no ordinary people."
I've been contemplating how I lost my own "pieces of resilience" and what those are. Resilience is most simply defined as how a person handles adversity emotionally and physically. I would add to that spiritually. Thus, I figure on having three inner "pieces of resilience." I then started looking at the difference between being resilient and resistant. They both have admirable qualities and I've found that I need both in my life. Thus, the explanation of the stone with life. Resistance and resilience. The word "rooted" in the scriptures compares beautifully with "resilience" for purposes of application in my life. Roots are magnificent sources of nourishment and life. Whether above or below ground, they are an anchor. The tree grows from the ground up, and "learns how to bend and sway" with the wind, but as Tolkien says,
"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
In Pauls letter to the Ephesians Chapter 3 he explains a similar relationship between adversity and inner strength.
13 Wherefore I desire that ye faint not at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.
14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
The scriptures teach us to be "steadfast and immovable." The words of Peter are most comforting and fitting counsel with specific warning for our time, "beware lest ye also... fall from your own steadfastness." (2 Pet 2:17) How is it that I can "fall away from [my] OWN steadfastness?” What is it that weakens or hardens (paradoxically) my heart. We all have insecurities, fight adversarial thoughts, voices, weaknesses, or perhaps even strengths, that would cause uprooting and degeneration of spirit. But, Peter specifically refers to our day, warning against “scoffers” that will mock the Saints waiting upon the Lord, and His Second Coming.
Too often I feel (whether real or imagined) the judgments of others holding me back from becoming more. I am not falling from my own steadfastness, but failing to be more steadfast. I want to be resistant, without rigidity. I want to stand strong with firmness and life. Again, people are very much like trees. When I returned from my “Rabbit Stick” (rite of passage for lack of better terms) out “on the trail,” I was changed. No doubt about it. I felt as though some people would actually look at me for a longer period of time scanning for evidence of that change in my demeanor. And there is often some reflection of spiritual, emotional change or development in our daily walking, and outward behaviors.
Thus, it's in our nature to look for visual changes in others when they return from school, a mission, or a place designed to stretch, heal, or improve them. But, speaking from a more distant place of negative insecurity and experience, I know that women (and I'm learning men as well) have a tendency to look for every inner transformation as it's manifest, exposed, processed and compartmentalized on our exteriors. Why is that? Why did I catalogue and chart my growth, as compared to others, based on physical manifestations, mere perceptions and judgements? I have no real answer other than fear. And the anecdote is love.
Paul teaches in the scripture above, that to be strengthened in tribulation, “with might by his Spirit in the inner man” we must be “rooted and grounded in love,” we must “know the love of Christ.” That “Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith.” I know the Lord, who looks on the heart, is the only One who can see the real softening and growth that is happening within me as I seek the blessings of the Atonement. It's very much like the roots of a tree, and the growth that happens beneath the earth unseen when compared to the trunk, branches, and leaves. The roots require tireless effort anchored to the earth, keeping the plant nourished and settled as the branches grow toward sunlight or lay dormant in the winter. I don't have to dig them up to know that they keep the tree alive. All things happen in proper order. The tree grew from the ground up, seed and roots first. All trees grow and thrive in different climates. Sycamores are beautifully barren in the winter, all white and ghostly they shed their leaves but have a majestic and stately appearance. Evergreens are just what their name suggests. Aspens are connected as one large system, by their roots. If the scrub oak is burned by fire, it will appear shrivelled black ash on the surface. But, below the surface natures miraculous adaptations heat the roots shooting pods with multiple seed plants to replace the ones lost in the fire.
We only see what is above the surface. In reverse, if the roots are not thriving, or the soil does not contain the nutrients, water, or have the viability to sustain life (as parables in the scriptures suggest) the tree will not take root or survive.
The love of God, yourself, and one another, is a commitment. A covenant. A continuing conversion. A pilgrimage. In the beginning of Forth Nephi the people “could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.” And this is because of “the love of God which did dwell in their hearts.” There was “no contention among them,” “they were one,” “every man did deal justly with another,” there were no “rich or poor,” “bond or free,” and there was peace in the land.
I love the hymn “Ring Out Wild Bells,” though I've never heard it in Sacrament Meeting. Tennyson speaks of new beginnings with wild reverence that rings with motion and modern relevance. In it I find my moxie again.
Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light:
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.
Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.
Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.
Ring in the Christ that is to be.
With all my prattling on, even if I "loose my moxie," I have reason for the hope that is in me. With so many reminders, sharing joy, peace, love, gratitude, adds to all of those feelings and heals my heart - keeping me rooted and grounded. In Forth Nephi the peace and prosperity lasts for a generation. The miracles cease, and the records are hidden. Similarly, Peter writes his epistle to stir up our minds by way of remembrance. And today, Pres Eyring teaches with the help of Moroni, that “Remembrance is the seed of gratitude which is the seed of generosity.Gratitude for the remission of sins is the seed of charity, the pure love of Christ. 'And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God.' (Moro. 8:26.) ”
By the end of the weekend, I could not stop singing one line from the song "Come Ye Thankful People Come." It's a time to be gathering, and offering thanks. With the weather outside being cold and gray, I sat down Sunday morning, chilled from the walk, somewhat struck by the “cozy” size of my ward. Settled by family in Sacrament meeting I remembered the words, "All is safely gathered in, let the winter storms begin..."
I hope in a common love of good, larger hearts, and kinder hands. I hope in the Christ that is.
